Thorny Hawkes
Thorndike Proctor Hawkes (1852-1929)

I like this guy's full name better than his nickname. He was a second baseman who played with Troy (NY) of the National League in 1879 and Washington of the American Association in 1884. Hawkes put up decent number with Washington – his .278 batting average was second on the team – but no major league team was interested in him in 1885, perhaps because teams could afford to be fussier since there were two major leagues and sixteen teams that season, while in 1884 there had been three leagues and 34 teams. In any event, Hawkes dropped out of sight.

Chicken Hawks
Nelson Louis Hawks (1896-1973)

Hawks came out of California's Santa Clara College and played 41 games for the New York Yankees in 1921, mostly as a pinch hitter, doing very well in that capacity, with eight hits in 23 at bats. He also played 15 games in the outfield.

He dropped down into the minor leagues until 1925 when he played first base for the Philadelphia Phillies, batting .322. You'd think that would keep him around awhile, but apparently his .986 fielding percentage – worst among National League first basemen – doomed him to a return trip to the minors.

Drungo Hazewood
Drungo LaRue Hazewood (1959- )

Drungo. Sounds like a fast-draw hero in a spaghetti Western. Hazewood, however, was a first round draft pick by the Baltimore Orioles who got into only six American League games, all in 1980. He struck out four times in his five at bats. However, he tore up spring training that year, batting .583.

Google your way through the internet and you may come upon something called the Drungo Hazewood Whiffle Ball Classic, which apparently is little more than a piece of whimsy concocted by a Minnesota writer who calls (or called) himself Uncle Jumbo. Whether this guy and some friends ever staged such an event is not important (to me, anyway). I just like the way baseball names linger in our consciousness long after the players who bore those names have taken up residence in obscurity.

Hurricane Hazle
Robert Sidney Hazle (1930-1992)

Hazle broke in with Cincinnati in 1955, carrying the nickname given him a year earlier after a hurricane named Hazel struck his native state. It was in 1957 that he lived up to that nickname when he hit .403 in 154 at bats with Milwaukee, helping the Braves win the National League pennant.

However, the next season the player was just plain ol' Bob Hazle when his average crashed at .211. By 1959 he disappeared from the major leagues.

In his 12-season major league career Hickman played every position but catcher, had a 10-8 record as a pitcher, going 6-0 with Boston in 1899.

Mostly he played first base and outfield, but was considered a poor defensive player, with good reason. In 1900, with the New York Giants, he played third base and made 87 errors. In 1903, with Cleveland, he made 40 errors at first base and five more in seven games at second base. That Hickman was so shaky at first base might have affected his shortstop, John Gochnaur, who made an incredible 98 errors that season.

Hickman got his nickname the obvious way – he had stocky legs that supported his 5-foot-11, 215-pound frame. Bill James, in his revised Historial Baseball Abstract, named Hickman the slowest player of the first decade of the 20th century.

However, later in that book James lists Hickman as the 80th best first baseman in major league baseball history, which perhaps more than any other selection in this often fascinating book, undermines whatever formula statistician James has created to rate players. First off, Hickman played only 394 games at first base, making more errors during those games than Vic Power, who finished 81st on James' list, made in 1,304 games. (In one three-season stretch that found him playing first base in 302 games, Hickman made an incredible 97 errors, which equalled Power's lifetime total.)

Hickman could hit, however, finishing with a .301 batting average in 1,080 games.

Then there's Zeke Bonura, who had a .307 lifetime average and made only 72 errors in 900 games at first base, yet he didn't make the top 100 on James' list. Bonura was considered slow, immobile and a poor excuse for a first baseman – yet he led the American League in fielding three times and one year had more assists than any other player at his position. No way could he possibly be worse than Piano Legs Hickman – except in the nickname department.

Still Bill Hill
William Cicero Hill (1874-1938)

Hill pitched four seasons just before the turn of the century – the 19th to the 20th, that is – playing for Louisville, Cincinnati, Cleveland, Baltimore and Brooklyn. That's a lot of teams for such a short stint, indicating Still Bill wasn't a terrific pitcher. His lifetime record of 36-69 supports that conclusion.

He lost 28 games with Louisville in his rookie season, though, to be fair, he was the best pitcher on the National League's worst team.

He had a brother, Hugh Hill, an outfielder who played briefly (1903-04) with Cleveland and the St. Louis Cardinals.

I found no explanation for the nickname, which could have involved moonshine, a man who kept movements to a minimum, or a manager's frustration. ("Another loss. Ah, what can I say – he's still Bill Hill.")

Johnny Hopp
John Leonard Hopp (1916-2003)

Hopp was an outfielder-first baseman with batting averages that fluctuated wildly from season to season (.224 in 1943; .336 in 1944; .289 in 1945; .333 in 1946). He had the good fortune to play with the St. Louis Cardinals and New York Yankees, which earned him five trips to the World Series in his 14-year major league career.

Anyone who has visited the space previously might have seen the player identified as Hippity Hopp, a wonderful, obvious nickname that I found in several sources, including my usually reliable Baseball Encyclopedia. I admitted even then that I didn't recall him being called Hippity Hopp. As a name, Johnny Hopp is memorable enough. (Though Chris Berman probably would have called him Johnny Hopp, Skip and Jump.)

He did have a nickname – Cotney, as in cottony, coined as a description of Hopp's cotton-white hair (which isn't apparent in the photo at the right). Again, I don't recall ever hearing the player referred to as Cotney Hopp, but, again, I was just 14 years old when Hopp quit playing in 1952.

As for Hippity Hopp, well, that was Johnny's younger brother, Harry, who played football at the University of Nebraska and later with the Detroit Lions (1941-43). You'd think the Hopp brothers would take up more space on Google because it's not often a couple of guys from the same family play in both the World Series and the Rose Bowl (which Harry Hopp did after the 1940 season). After all, in those days the Rose Bowl was THE football game.

Alas, Harry's Nebraska team lost to Stanford, 21-13. Brother Johnny fared much better in his five trips to the World Series, playing for the winner four times.

Trader Horne
Berlyn Dale (Sonny) Horne (1899-1983)

Obvious nickname, but it works for me. It didn't help Horne, however. He pitched only 23 innings in the bigs, went 1-1 with the Chicago Cubs in 1929.

Hanson Horsey
Hanson Horsey (1889-1949)

One major league appearance, one bad experience – Horsey pitched four innings for Cincinnati in 1912, gave up 14 hits, three bases on balls and 10 runs.

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